September 17, 2014 was a day unlike any other I have experienced. As I bustled around, making sure I had everything I needed and was not forgetting anything, I found it hard to imagine not being home for nearly 6 months.... The familiar roads, the well-liked house and property surrounding... Not to mention my dearly-loved family and friends who I would not see. Everything about leaving felt very strange and almost lonely.
While we were in the car on our way to the airport, I looked sadly at the familiar countryside passing by. I knew that when I returned, I would be coming back, not to my beloved home in Toledo, WA, but to a strange place miles away: Walla Walla, WA. It was very hard realize this.
At the airport. Already? Where did the time go? I'm not ready to leave yet. But we were indeed there, and there was no turning back now. Walking up to security, I suddenly was overwhelmed with emotion. I was leaving my family for 6 months. I was going to somehow find the right airplane and get on it by myself. I would fly for probably 11 hours or so by myself, wouldn't I? What had I been thinking? Why was I here? I tried very hard to hold back the tears. My feeble attempts were not good enough though. I gave each one a hug then stood, reluctant to leave. Finally, I slowly turned and walked away to fall in line with the other people waiting. Once through, I turned to wave and catch a glimpse of the dear faces one more time before tearfully walking away to find my gate.
This is all so strange! Lord, why do I feel so alone? Please help me to be strong. Be with me. Help me. Please....
While on the train to my gate, I began to cry again. I felt miserable and lonely. Looking up, I noticed a small key-chain on the purse. On it were these words. "Jesus Loves You." When I read them, tears came afresh as I realized that Jesus was indeed with me and He loved me. I would be ok. Still I was sad, but this did a great deal to encourage me.
By God's grace, I found my gate without any mishap. I sorrowfully sat down on the floor and talked to my family on Skype for a while. When I got up to find the restroom, it disconnected. I was slowly walking, trying to see a sign for the bathrooms, when I heard something that I had never expected to hear at that moment. "Haley," a mysteriously familiar voice called. What? That was my name! I turned around and there, before my astonished eyes was a familiar face. Standing there in front of me was Sarah Van Hee (forgive me if I spelled it wrong). Talk about being surprised! We discovered we were on the same flight to Seoul, Korea, where I was planning to meet Gayle Haberkam, who would be with me until I reached Sunshine Orchard. Not only were we on the same flight, but we were in the same row too, only a couple seats apart from each other. Relief filled me as I stood in line with her to board the plane. Gratitude to God welled up inside, and I thanked Him for showing His love and care once again.
When we sat down on the plane, we found out we were actually only one person and an aisle away from each other. The lady sitting beside me noticed Sarah say something to me and asked the stewardess if she could switch seats with Sarah so we could sit beside each other. Permission granted, Sarah moved over beside me. Probably my greatest worry had been sitting all that way on a plane beside someone I didn't know and trust. One more time my heart sang for the Providence of God. I knew after so many things that He was really watching over me; it was His will for me to go to Thailand.
We arrived in Seoul without mishap, and I was able to meet up with Gayle. On the flight from there to Chiang Mai, the stewardess let me move up to an empty row across from Gayle and Tucker (a guy who recently finished nursing at Southern Adventist College and will be staying with Gayle for a year). I was able to lay down across the three seats and sleep for a few hours, praise the Lord!
It was around 10:30 p.m. in Chiang Mai when we touched down. We found a motel and retired for the night. As I drifted off to sleep, silent tears slipped down my cheeks, thinking of loved ones far away and me in this strange, new place.
The Market...
Walking down the street...
On Monday, we left Chiang Mai headed for Sunshine Orchard. I watched the scenery float by and tried to catch a few winks of sleep.
At about 6:40 p.m. we arrived at Sunshine Orchard. Everyone was in worship, so I quietly slipped in and sat down for the last few minutes. When worship was over, I quickly got up and headed outside to avoid being trampled by the stampede of children pouring out of the building (this is the way it always is after worships here) :-).
That night was the worst of all nights I had had so far. I lay on my bed (a mat on the bamboo floor) and sobbed silently. Oh, how I wished I could just go home! Why did I come? What was I going to do? Why was I so afraid? I just knew everyone would be disappointed because I thought I wasn't as good as Heidi, who they all knew was my sister. On and on went the list, and I cried until it hurt too much to continue. Finally, I drifted off to sleep, exhausted.
The new morning brought a slightly better outlook, but still I felt out of place and awkward. That day ended with me not feeling much better.
The next week was very hard. Tears came very easily, and it seemed I often couldn't control them. It got easier though. I fell into place, got used to the schedule, and felt much better by the second week.
Now? I am very happy to be here. I know God has called me here to grow me and use me. I am looking forward to what He will do in the next months that I have the privilege to be here.
Thank you all so much for your prayers and support to help get me here and keep me alive and well while here. I greatly appreciate it, and I am praying you will each be blessed richly by our Saviour.
I'm sorry this got a little long. Just so much to say. :-) In the next post, you will get to visit me as I go to class, attend worships, and hike a mountain.
You really are good with words, Haley. I was feeling your anguish and then your joy. The Lord is certainly watching over you. Bless you.
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