The Shepherd's Daughter: God is So Very Good... ALL the Time!

Wow… It has been so long since I have written a blog post! I really intended to write sooner, but life just goes, and it is easy to forget about such things. :)

So, as you might remember, shortly before the school break Mrs. Adams asked me if I would come to help in the children’s home once school was finished because they would most likely be going to America in April and could use my help while they would be gone. (By the time I moved though, they weren’t sure if they would go, and they eventually decided to not go at all.) I prayed about it and agreed. I was excited at the opportunity, as I have always loved children, and also, this would be a way for me to keep busy during the lonely months of no school.

After school finished, I hung around and didn’t really do much for the short time the Stecks were still here. By this time, I had already said “good-bye” to Hannah Powell with many tears, and I was not looking forward to another good-bye, especially not the people who had become my “second family” and who I loved very much. The day that they left was one of the worst days I have had since being here. It was the first time in quite a while where I was able to really cry. I felt like my world was falling apart…again. I questioned what God was doing. It seemed He was taking one person after another until I would have no one left. But even though I felt so lonely and lost, God kept whispering to my heart that this too would pass and it would be for the best. I chose to believe this for the most part.

The Stecks left on a Sunday morning, and I got busy almost right away, packing my things and cleaning the house so I could move down to the children’s home. It took pretty much the rest of the day for me to accomplish this task. But by evening, I was ready to move. Well, outwardly anyways. Inwardly I wanted to move too, but I was scared to death of walking down there by myself with all my stuff and just going into the house. That is what you do around here though. How I dreaded actually doing it!

Sunday evening came and went… Monday came and went… Tuesday came and went… I just kept hoping that maybe someone would talk to me and ask me if I was going to come down… I wanted some kind of conformation before just barging in. But it didn’t come. The only effort I made was praying that God would please open an opportunity for me to talk to one of the gullowahs from the children’s home.

Wednesday morning God answered my prayer. I was walking back from worship, and as I passed the children’s home, I saw Emily (the Adams daughter) just about to go inside. Without even thinking (I know God must have opened my mouth to speak) I called her name and walked over. I asked her about my moving, and she replied she hadn’t heard about it! Oh dear, I thought. Mrs. Adams didn’t talk to anyone about it apparently. But Emily told me I was more than welcome to move down whenever I wanted to. (She is so sweet. You just have to love her.) I told her I would probably do it that day sometime.

Yes, I know this is ridiculous, but it still took me all the rest of that day to get up enough courage to actually go. I don’t know exactly what I was afraid of, but that’s the way it was. I finally moved down just before evening worship, acquiring Moo Koh Paw’s help to carry my stuff down. It was awkward, yes, but I got over it soon enough.

It just so happened that the day I moved, Mr. and Mrs. Adams left for Chiang Mai to be gone for a week and a half. I felt even worse about that, thinking they would think that I had waited until they left to move, which wasn’t the case. I didn’t mind it though, as it made it not quite as awkward.

Was it easy to adjust? No. Not at all. But God has never promised life to be easy, only that He would give enough strength to walk through every difficulty. I felt very out-of-place for maybe the first week. I tried to help wherever I could, but I really felt pretty useless. I didn’t feel like I could tell the little kids what to do. It was hard even to just sweep the floor. But by God’s grace I made it through, lonely and strange as I felt. It really helped that Lauren (the girl who has been helping in the children’s home) is so friendly and Emily is so sweet.

When the Adams came back, I was ready for the new adjustment of having two more people around. They had taken Chu Chu Paw, the youngest little girl who is nearly a year old now, with them. I really enjoyed making friends with her when they returned. She warmed up to me quite quickly, and now is to the point of willingly going to me from even Mr. Adams. She really loves her Mo Mo Doh and Pa Pa Doh (Mrs. And Mr. Adams Karen names which means “Big Father” and “Big Mother,” big as in status, not size) and does not usually go to anyone willingly while in the arms of either, especially Pa Pa Doh. Chu Chu Paw is a happy baby, except when the other children are grabbing on her and trying to take her from each other, which happens often. Then she can get quite upset, which is totally understandable.

I eventually got to the point of being almost completely comfortable living here. I can sweep the floor, wash the dishes, do the girls’ hair, and tell the kids what to do.

The older kids in the children’s home have warmed up to me too. With some it took longer than with others, but more or less they all seem comfortable around me. Of course, some are far more friendly than others, so I am better friends with those ones.

One of the boys who is maybe around 12 years old has nicknamed me “Mommy,” and will occasionally say something like, “Mommy, where are you going?” or “Mommy, you go take a bath?” His English is quite good because he has lived in the children’s home for several years now.

Another one of the boys who is around 14 is always making funny faces at me and calls me “Teacher Aley” instead of “Teacher Haley.” No, it is not because he can’t speak English properly. He lived in America for something like 5 years, so he of all people has no excuse. He just enjoys having something to tease me about (as if he didn’t tease me about enough other things).

The majority of the kids in the children’s home are boys. Of the ones older than 5, only 4 of them are girls. There are maybe 20 or more boys. J

So, I was just to the point of being quite comfortable, not feeling so lonely, like things were good, when the devil brought a temptation that I, sadly, was not prepared to resist. I was not making Jesus my everything. I knew I needed to, but I wasn’t sure how, and therefore was not doing it. This was my first mistake which opened the way for a multitude of others.
A boy who I taught last school year started flirting with me a lot. Then he became very pushy and touchy. Because of my lack of a connection with God, I gave in, and the situation carried on for much longer than it should have. True, it wasn't that long, but it never should have happened at all.
By God's amazing grace, I am not in this situation anymore. Through many miracles and acts of divine love, I am a better person today.
In many ways I wish this experience had not happened… But let me tell you the good that God brought of it…

One night after receiving a letter from him (I’m not sure if it was the first or second letter), I went to bed feeling horrible. I felt like I had been used again… Like maybe that was all I was good for. Perhaps this was my destiny in life: to be used, never really loved.

I woke up feeling bad too. I tried to pray, but it seemed my prayers only stayed in my head, never reaching God’s ears. I looked at my phone and saw I had an email from Mr. Steck. He said that while they were staying at my family’s house in America, my mom had shared about some stressful situations I was going through and asked if I would like to share more with him. My first reaction? Yes, I was angry. I had talked to my mom and she had encouraged me to email Mr. Steck. I said I would do it, so to now hear from him that she had told him already, I was not happy. I chatted my mom asking “WHY?!” She replied, trying to calm me down, which thankfully worked. She shared how it really seemed God had opened the opportunity for her and Daddy to share with Mr. Steck. I wasn’t angry anymore, but still felt ashamed and awful.

I then saw that I had an email from Heidi. My mom had asked for permission to share with her, which I had granted. So, she was emailing me in response to that.

I think it was the longest email I have ever received from someone. It was full of exactly what I needed to hear. As I read on and on, something completely broke inside of me and I cried it all out. For the first time, I was able to completely surrender the situation and my feelings to God, and for the first in my life I could confidently say, “God’s love is enough. He is ALL I need! I do not need a person to love me… Not when I have a God that is bigger, more loving, forgiving, amazing, and powerful than anyone or anything else.” All my life up until this point, I knew God’s love needed to be enough, but I always felt that I “needed” to get married someday, that I “needed” at least some person to love me. That was gone now though.

That day was the best day I think I have ever had. True, there were still temptations and reminders of pain, but through each one God brought me, one step at a time, holding my hand the whole way.

So, this is what has happened in the last three months. I am still living in the children’s home and plan to stay here indefinitely for now. I love the fellowship with the students outside of the classroom.

I have been having headaches when reading, so I went to get my eyes checked yesterday and ordered new glasses, which should hopefully be in in about a week. I am so thankful God allowed my glasses to be 50% off, so they cost only $370 instead of $740. Tharamu Lorna went in the same day after me, and she had to pay the full price for some reason. I praise the Lord He knew that I couldn’t afford to pay so much and provided a way!

School will start on Monday, June 8, and I will be teaching English to grades 6, 9, and 10. I am looking forward to it, praise the Lord! I am nervous and a little stressed, but I know God will carry me through if I trust Him.

Please continue to keep me in your prayers, as I know the devil isn’t finished with tempting me. I know I am so weak, but I have a God who is SO much stronger! And I am seeing more and more each day that God is so very good...ALL the time! :)

Here are some pictures from the end of last school year and during the break.

A friendly "hello" from all the students and staff at Sunshine Orchard!! :)

Most of the teachers/staff here at Sunshine Orchard. A few are missing.

KGB class with class teacher, Thara Nay Kaw Htoo, back right.

KGA class with Tharamu Suh Pweh, back right.


Grade 1 with Tharamu Hazel, back left.

Grade two with Tharamu Ida, back left.

Grade 3 with Tharamu Sheba, the back left.


Grade 4 ("my kids", because I taught them for one term ;) ) with "Thara Cha Gu Gu", who now goes by "Thara Jerry," back left.


Grade 5 (my other kids) with Thara Saw Dih Yay, back middle.

Grade 6 with Thara Lar Bweh, back middle.

Grade 7 with Thara Su Meh Oh, back left.

Grade 8 with Tharamu Lah Htee, back left and Tharamu Hannah, front right. Because of the class schedule there are two class teachers for grade 8.

Grade 9 and Tharamu Marie (Hannah Powell), middle left.


Grade 10 and Tharmu Jonalyn, back right.

Some of the grade 5 students.

Me teaching grade 5.

Me teaching grade 4.

Some grade 4 students.

Dee Noh, Grade 4.

Law Ray Htoo, Grade 4.

Grade 4 and I singing Isaiah 40:31 that I taught them for Friday evening worship.

The children's home......... I'm sorry they are a little out of order, but I am running out of time and it takes a very long time to try to rearrange them. Blogger is being a little silly today. ;)

The majority of the younger kids in the children's home.

The room upstairs in the children's home that Lauren and I share.

Some boys playing downstairs.

Saw Kweh Leh and Lay Wah Say.

Koo Koo Paw and Lay Wah Say.

The view of the chapel in the middle, Anna Adam's house on the left, and Thara Po Peh's house on the right, as seen from our balcony.

Maung So Aung and Htee Nay Htoo splitting bamboo outside the children's home.

Lah Lah Moo mixing "mud curry."

The view of the children's home garden, as seen from right outside the kitchen door.

The children that stay with Anna right outside of her house.

The hammocks in the children's home are a very popular source of amusement around here. Sometimes people occupying them will be swung dangerously high, much to our concern and worry. The ropes have broken a couple times, but thankfully no one has been seriously injured.

This is how we hang up wet clothes during the rainy season. Pa Pa Doh hung these bamboo poles from the ceiling not too long ago, and they have been a great blessing!